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#1293914 - 28/12/2014 18:50 Pulling the pin
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
Well unfortunately due to a number of circumstances I have made a decision to move on from farming in the southern mallee. frown. It's been a very hard and long thought over decision and while it breaks my heart not to carry on the family tradition of mallee farming, I have to put the good of my family in front of my heritage.

Drought has hastened this decision but in reality my parents and after dad's death, my mothers refusal to even consider a succession plan and her refusal to say anything to upset one of my brothers was my main driver. It seems she was more concerned with keeping her little cocoon of "peace", rather than helping me secure any future in farming our families land.

I said this to her 6 months ago and even though she said that she would "have to do something" she just kept the usual delaying tactics going.

So it is onward to a new future for me. We will looks to move to "greener pastures". More for distance from the pain and bad memories a 13 year struggle filled with empty words has caused me. I will keep hold of the hope of re joining the ranks of farmers in another area but one has to be realistic and concede that my best hope was the family farm. I am selling all of my stock in a week or 2 and from there will will take stock and see where opportunity takes us. I suppose I have the knowledge that I will leave agriculture with. No debt( and hopefully some spare) to start a new life. I have a job in town so in effect nothing will change apart from having more time to spend with my little family.

I just want to say this to any people who are on a family farm that they are working on with no plan......GET ONE,

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#1293959 - 29/12/2014 00:45 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
ColdFront Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 29/06/2008
Posts: 17147
Loc: Wide Bay..Near the beach
Good luck with your new venture Adon.
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#1293980 - 29/12/2014 09:08 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
samboz Online   content
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 16/11/2014
Posts: 1377
Loc: Between Maffra & the Mountains...
It's tough farming in the Mallee adon and with the lack of a succession plan you could put the rest of yr life into the farm and be left with bgr all. (You know all that !)

You'll do alright, don't underestimate your skills as farmers accrue more than they think. ie Fwd planning, handling a budget, employing contractors and the hands on machinery operation/repairs, plumbing, building, welding, stock handling etc, etc.....and the biggest assett in my opinion, self motivation, a lot don't have it in the work force.

Best wishes for 2015 and good luck with the move.
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#1294088 - 29/12/2014 18:52 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
Yeah 2014 was a mongrel year for me. Loosing Dad in Jan and now the farm in December. I will be glad to see the back on it come midnight NYE.....

I am not giving up on ag just yet. I will attempt to find leasing opportunities wherever we go and we still both want a farm house with a few acres to run some sheep and let our son grow up like I did. But yeah the future is unknown but this is a new chapter for us and we will just sit tight for a little whole until we figure out where we will go and what we will do.

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#1294103 - 29/12/2014 19:58 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
roves Offline
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 02/02/2005
Posts: 1629
Loc: Paringa-Riverland
It is sad to read this Adon my hope and prayers go to you and your family in this trying time in your lives.
I know how it feels to be at that point where the decision has to be made to walk or stay, after many heated debates and heartache it took my dad to get cancer for him to relinquish the reigns and things to change, thankfully he is still around so it worked out in the end though the struggle being a farmer continues.
Again I wish you all the best in the future Adon and whatever path you choose it be very fulfilling.


Edited by roves (29/12/2014 19:59)
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#1294168 - 30/12/2014 07:14 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
Thanks Roves, Dad had cancer for 20years but he would not do anything re succession because he didn't like any dramas with family arguments. But sweeping stuff under the carpet for years only makes things worse and instead of a minor dummy spit and moving on, it has come to this. The frustration it has caused me over the years knowing the only reason they refused to do anything was for their own selfish desire to keep "peace". As long as there were no dummy spits from my brother everything was fine as far as they were concerned.

I should have gone years ago in reality. But I probably would never have met my wife so in that regard it was worth it.

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#1294190 - 30/12/2014 10:35 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
ozone doug Online   content
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 06/11/2006
Posts: 1514
Loc: Roma SW QLD Eye to the S Wes...
Sorry to hear this Adon .But it sounds like the right move .yes use New year to take time to think and plan a new dream with your wife you are a smart thinker you will do well.cheers.
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#1294667 - 01/01/2015 15:04 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
Azzad Offline
Weather Freak

Registered: 22/12/2013
Posts: 105
Loc: Karratha
All the best Adon, I truly believe that 2015 is the year for new beginnings, keep strong, the key to the future is learning from the past. All the best mate and remember every decision you make is the right one!
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#1294681 - 01/01/2015 16:20 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
RC Offline
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 29/09/2007
Posts: 1864
Loc: near Rockhampton, Qld
Many times I have seen in family businesses where one does the majority of the work and the others benefit.. Seen one partner in a business work themselves silly for little pay while another partner went out and made money elsewhere, then when well setup, demanded the partnership dissolve and they receive well above their fair share resulting in them being extremely well off while the one that did all the work still battling..

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#1294731 - 01/01/2015 18:26 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
I was finding myself digging my own grave really. I decided not to do any fence maintainence as it was basically working on someone else's place unpaid and potentially having to pay more for it. But worst of all was one brother did not want me to have it so he would keep token amounts of pet sheep in big paddocks and refuse me access to them. My mother always wanting to avoid his dummy spits let this carry on for years. The drought this year meant I was going to have to sell anyway but what's the use in spending many thousands re buying sheep only to have the same thing happen again in a year or twos time? Time to make the unbearable decision to move on. He has had his win but I am not going to destroy my family for the farm. A property which I had to buy half of and then double the size to be viable. I would be in debt for the rest of my life, still living in the same town with a man I now hate, do not trust not to sabotage anything if I was not there and living with the knowledge he will never leave. Mum was never going to change. She has not for 13 years! When I told her she asked whether if I could buy the farm now would make any difference knowing fully that buying that place without anything to use as equity is impossible. I don't think she will ever understand that this is all her making. The drought is the only thing here that is out of her hands.

I reckon finding a new place for a new start will be good for my family. We just have to figure out where


Edited by adon (01/01/2015 18:31)

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#1294766 - 01/01/2015 20:32 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
Petros Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 30/12/2002
Posts: 6308
Loc: Maffra, Central Gippsland, Vi...
There was a session on farm succession on the ABC radio only days ago. If you didn't hear it Adon, its probably podcast.

Never mind, you've made your decision.

One pertinent point that moved me, was a caller, a wife like yours, who really had a moving point of view. From her perspective, she had lost faith in a husband that continually dithered for decades in the same situation. You have not.

You would walk into any supervision job going out there at the moment. Be it the power industry, construction or manufacturing. If you be yourself, you wont need to "practice" ahead of any interview situation, from my experience, from what I've read of your thoughts over many years, finding a job will not be an issue mate.

Re your family, I would bite the bile, think of your child and the benefits of growing up knowing Gran and the cousins. What if you got run over by a bus?

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#1294794 - 01/01/2015 22:17 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
Petros thanks for the kind words. Forums are a place I can speak my mind a little more than real life sometimes but thanks for the sentiment!

Re the family, mum is in no state to look after the young bloke. Her health and her fitness are way below the demands of our little tacker. He has me stuffed after a full day with him! When we move, we are going to move closer to My wife's mum in Sydney. But neither of us could live in a city. So we will look for a regional centre to settle near. Funny thing is here, we basically have no support structure for us anyway. Mum is not able to look after him, friends are all too busy with their kids and lives and the rest of my family are in Melbourne.

We both think for our sanity that a move far away from here is best. Personally I cannot think what life would be like not being able to wander around that place after it is sold. Mentally I don't think I would be strong enough. Distance will be the only thing that can treat the wound I have.

Unfortunately I have the feeling that my name has been tainted in the town. I cannot explain the depths that this scum has and will go to. He has even taught his autistic son to shout out that I am naughty in the shops in town. There are reasons I must leave. Many many of them. This has not been a quick decision. It has been long and deeply thought over. I have had countless sleepless nights over it.

In hindsight I should have never even got into this position but that's the lure of the land. Working with Dad not only gave my teenage self a sense of worth but also belonging and time spent with one of my best mates(dad). Deeply flawed in some areas as he was, I loved him(and still do) deeply and the time we did get to spend together working like we did will always be precious to me. It is also because of those fond memories, I need to leave because they are being replaced by feelings of frustration, anger and hate towards the family involved. Leaving now might not heal the broken bonds but may stop it getting worse.

I never intend to have anything to do with my brother again. None of the other siblings will either once mum has gone and probably sooner. His behaviour has long been a source of embarrassment and frustration to us all. As is the lack of ticker from both my parents to nip it off at the bud many years ago. It seems unbelievable that an illiterate not fully functioning man has done so well at ruining a family farm that has been in our name since the late 1870s. But him and my parents did it.

I suppose I might be able to thank my mining experience for being able to make tough calls even though they may not be easy to make or easy to deal with. In that line of work I was regularly making decisions that many other even more senior than I (I was VERY LOW LEVEL) were game to make. When a plant costs $60k an hour to stop and you make the call to stop it for 6 hours, you need to be able to justify it. I had people from high up in the crystal towers calling me and questioning me but I never backed off from them and they never once over ruled me. I am not sure whether it was confidence in decision made by me or the lack of guts to overrule for fear of being wrong! Anyway my only regret is delaying this decision now that I have made it.

But if things go even ok I should be able to walk away debt free which is a hell of a lot better than many. I have a job in town and my wife is just starting to return from maternity leave so financially we are no problems. I just have a burning need to leave and go somewhere fresh and where I am just another blow in. It will be great to make new friends that we can feel at home being around. The worst thing about a small town is EVERYBODY knows you are your family.

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#1295272 - 03/01/2015 08:07 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
Squid Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 03/09/2005
Posts: 9535
Loc: Murgon
When you go hold you head high and know that you done your best, and if you walk away debt free that is something to be proud of. It sounds like a freash start is what the dr has ordered.

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#1295367 - 03/01/2015 11:17 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
SBT Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 07/02/2007
Posts: 14126
Loc: Townsville Dry Tropics
You have made the right decision Adon. If holding on to the farm was causing so many problems then you have done what a lot want to do but don't have the guts to do. Walk away. Out of debt. Out of the life of your brother and the town that sounds like it has turned their back on you.

Move on, concentrate on your immediate family and your mental well being.

If you need a hand ask for it. You will land on your feet in a new location.

Think of it this way. You left before you became yet another farming suicide. It so easy becomes the only option when you are trapped in your situation and don't see any other way out. This is what happened to an uncle of mine in WA. He was a wheat and sheep farmer in the south west that turned to the bottle after years of low prices and drought and after 20 years of battling booze and failed farms he hung himself from a windmill. The results of which have been devastating his family for the last 30 years. So never think you haven't dome the right thing by yourself.
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#1295442 - 03/01/2015 13:17 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: SBT]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
I haven't given up on the town just yet SBT but sometimes it feels like I am being talked about. Hard to explain but I have not been banished!

But yeah thanks for the kind words guys

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#1295863 - 04/01/2015 12:34 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
duckweather Offline
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 20/12/2010
Posts: 2496
Loc: Wantirna, Vic
Hi adon.

I have been quietly keeping up with this thread and the great support for you that other members are posting for you.

I too feel that you are making the right decision for you and your family. The full reward for moving on, even though you will always carry with you your fondest memories from where you are now, will be even more clear as time goes on.
It is a mark of strength to accept your decision to move on and give your family a fresh start.
I wish you and your family all the very best, and I am confident that you will succeed and be much happier with your new future.

Cheers to you, Duck.

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#1295879 - 04/01/2015 13:24 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
Thanks Duck! Very kind words! I just have to make it through to the sale and then a lot will be off my mind. My stock agent got the sale date wrong and so just found I pout in have another week to wait......bugger. So now I am scrambling to find enough enough feed to get them through. I had planned on only getting to Wednesday this week so I up had just enough to do the job and not I have 7 more days. Adding to that the forecast of rain and lot of it...(typical now I have made the call! )'adds the damage of being to wet to get them onto a truck! Oh the irony!!

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#1295895 - 04/01/2015 14:23 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
Homer Offline
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 16/06/2007
Posts: 4873
Loc: Dural
You've come this far adon. Please just get through another week.
As others have said, you are making the right decision.
Have strength in your convictions. You will get there.
I feel, having read your thoughts, the worst is behind you.
Good luck, and keep airing your thoughts. It's good to release.

Homer.

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#1296007 - 04/01/2015 18:54 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
S .O. Offline
Weatherzone Addict

Registered: 31/01/2011
Posts: 1515
Loc: Southern Victoria
Have been reading with interest , [ I too at some stage walked away from a family business ] . You need to take that " leap of faith " and then stay strong to your convictions . We know from past posts that you do and have . (At some stage I remember you saying/writing that you didn't crop one year ) . So if so , you've proven your mettle . And regardless of the outcome of that past decision , it was by all accounts a fair call .
I wish you the best of luck in regards to getting your stock out , and from then on have the confidence to continue to be your own man .
Best of Luck .
Pete


Edited by S .O. (04/01/2015 18:55)
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#1296067 - 04/01/2015 21:13 Re: Pulling the pin [Re: adon]
adon Offline
Meteorological Motor Mouth

Registered: 19/08/2004
Posts: 5245
Loc: Not tellin!
At the present moment my mettle is being tested to it maximum. I have had to hand feed them for the last 6weeks. I just went to check on the last bin of feed I had and.......gone. Don't know where don't know how long ago but it's gone. So now I have to figure out how to get more feed for them while having to go back to work tomorrow. I have to get 10days worth of feed but due to this weather forcast next weekend I may not be able to load that from my yards. If that happens well there is another 2 weeks to wait...... I have slept for maybe 3hour in the last 48 and I don't reckon I will be getting much tonight.

Why oh why does leaving this place have to be so bloody hard! It seems there is a [censored] at every bloody turn! If god is behind this....what the hell do you want me to do mate? I have had 13 years of non stop struggles stress and fighting. And now I have made the call to leave it's even bloody worse! Not that I am in the place but you see how so many end it.

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